Online dating just got dumber

I'm willing to bet it had nothing to do with your fucking bangs, you facetious bunt.

There's a new company looking to give the online dating service eHarmony a run for it's money. An example of their ad is attached. (Don't bother clicking it, I didn't link it to the actual site. They gotta' pay me to do that.) They've also got a TV commercial campaign going and probably some radio, as well.

Their campaign centers around the fact that eHarmony rejects some people for various reasons. They don't really touch on the reasons, or give any sort of concession toward any logic in the viewer. As always, the devil's in the details: What were these freaks' problems that they couldn't even secure a basic listing at the site? Haven't they learned by now that it's he internet and you're supposed to fudge a few facts about yourself? If you ain't lying, you ain't tryin'. None of these come close to testimonials and are obviously being played by actors.

The ads are littered with "disgruntled" former eHarmony hopefuls complaining about being left out of the cluster-hopeful-fuck that is dating on the interwebs.

So what is this new company saying?
"Hey, you! Yeah, you insufferable mongaloid half-a-brain who couldn't even find a date in the produce isle. I hear you couldn't even figure out how to get some online, even when you tried typing with both hands.
"Well, stop your crying and drag your knuckles and your credit card over here before you spend it on something else, for goodness sake. We care about you. We want to see you get laid. We won't bog you down with all that compatibility bullshit. Hell, if you're even smart enough to click our ad, we'll send you a sticker that says 'Get Online and Get On Me.' Now won't that be dandy?"

S-T-U-P-I-D.

I've never personally found dates online (at least that I'll admit to), but c'mon, now. A little decorum, please?
Wait. Sorry. This is still the internet we're talking about.